By Carmelia Ray
Q: Are there any benefits, besides the obvious, to watching porn?
Absolutely! Viewing porn can be more than something you enjoy by yourself or with your partner: It can be an educational tool as well. Think about this: According to the Match Matrix Lifestyle Traits, there are two distinct types of sexual responses — Physical (touch) and Mental/Emotional (feelings and words). What we can learn from porn stars is that playing into each type is important for a healthy, satisfying sexual experience.
Reason 1: Be Willing to Try Anything
If there’s a common denominator when it comes to porn, it is that almost anything goes. In other words, you can expect to see sex enjoyed in a variety of positions and places, and penetration happening in every possible orifice — from vaginal, to oral, to anal. There could be loads of foreplay with an interesting storyline, or it could be just an in-and-out scenario (pun absolutely intended). By adopting this “anything goes” attitude, you create an increased level of excitement, especially by introducing positions, places, or sex toys that are new to your routine. When it comes to implementing this lesson in the bedroom, remember to be open-minded and embrace an attitude of exploration and experimentation — as long as you’re with a partner you trust, and you feel comfortable and safe in your environment.
Reason 2: Dirty Talk Works Wonders
What makes porn hot is that the stars constantly vocalize their appreciation and enjoyment. They describe each action, each feeling, and each body part, from how hard and thick it is, to how soft, juicy, and wet things can get. Using descriptive and suggestive vocabulary is a huge turn-on, and will heighten your own experiences in bed. When you describe in detail the sensations you feel, smell, or taste, it provides an added effect to the overall mood.
Reason 3: Show And Tell
Porn stars seem to know exactly what to say and how to say it. If they want something done right, they’ll frankly show their partner (or partners) how to please them. “Just like that,” “faster,” “slower,” “harder,” “deeper,” “rub it,” “lick it,” “kiss it,” “suck it” — whatever it is that they want or need to make the experience more pleasurable. This is a great lesson to learn when your partner is just learning how to please you. Don’t be shy to guide them — or play a little “show and tell” — so that everyone is happy.
Reason 4: Explore Your Fantasies And Fetishes
What would porn be without the naughty little schoolgirl, the hot and-sweaty pool boy, the misbehaving student, the sensual masseuse, or the overly curious doctor? Pornos highlight and play out the stereotypical sexual fantasies men and women talk — and think! — about the most. Use these on-film situations as inspiration when acting out your own deepest desires. Millions of people turn to porn every day for sexual stimulation. Learn from these “Sexperts,” and get ready to have a more fulfilling and erotic experience with your partner tonight.
Carmelia Ray is a matchmaking expert and author from Toronto, Canada. She has been a professional matchmaker and dating coach for over 20 years.